No comprende “these things.”

american-apparel-assless-tights

I had the above tights explained to me, sort of like this. “They are for girls who want to wear tights, but don’t want to harness their asses,” or something. I believe the concept is a LITTLE like the thong idea, yet not really at all.

I’m going to go one level up on this. As someone who regardless of how thin she is, always has a giant ass, I don’t think these are made for “me.” I presume these for for very thin, very bootiless types. They listen to the rap songs and want to shake their asses, but since they have “none” are unable to do “so.”

I, on the other hand can effectively do the Beyonce-booty-shake in a pair of fucking Spanx.

So yeah. I think I am going to pass on these!

Photo: American Apparel

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14 Responses to “No comprende “these things.””

  1. They are really really odd! Sometimes fashion does peculiar things!

  2. Those are almost as brilliant as this… https://www.cstringdirect.com/

  3. what in the hell is the point of these? AA needs to explain.

  4. Is that Sasha Grey?

  5. 1. Is that Sasha Gray?
    2. This will give you one hell of a VPL.

  6. sarah morrison Says:

    yeah its her. i think shes more american apparel model than porn star. shes been modelling aa for evs.

  7. I guess they’re Am Appy’s verz of suspender tights: http://www.fredericks.com/Sheer_Suspender_Pantyhose/36730,default,pd.html?cgid=sh17

    But I gotta wonder if they might like LIFT and ACCENTUATE your booty. like squeeze it up and out. Anyone remember eons ago, Tammy on the 2nd Real World (LA) talkin about going dancing with this thing on that was like spandex with a lil cut out to make your butt look bigger? but then she danced all night and the hole in the spandex got tiny and her booty disappeared? They kinda remind me of that I guess.

  8. Nessienessa Says:

    I bet we’ll see some hipsters sporting these with a leotard of some sorts. Either over or under the damn contraption. I have a small booty and there is no way I would do these justice. Hell no.

  9. Probably another thing for nerds to get boners over at the office while looking at the AA website. Or, maybe that guy Dov’s fantasy tights for woman.

  10. mmmmaryjane Says:

    this girl on twitter told me i look like a pregnant sasha grey. insult? compliment?

  11. mmmmaryjane Says:

    wait its showing me as my new wordpress account, mmmmaryjane, instead of my other login name of alissawins. strange. its me! im the same person lol. but ok, compliment. good.

  12. sarah morrison Says:

    i dunno mine says sarah@missbehavemag.com. so who knows.

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